July 2, 2012 I unzipped the tent and crawled towards the moon. Full again, she splashed me awake and I hesitated before slipping into the cold air. The marine layer glowed like silver springs of Avalon. I sat in the mist, a thirsty deer, wide-eyed and watchful. There she was. That familiar face. Always present to witness my rises and my falls.
I couldn’t sleep, and not because of John’s snoring. I was too full of excitement. Too full of life. Too full of love. I couldn’t possibly squeeze all my feelings into that little tent. I needed space to shine.
So I sat and I waited while planets shifted and the trajectory of my life changed forever. Love will do that. Some say love makes us crazy, but I say love reveals who we truly are. Is life not crazy? Are we not the big bang, still banging? Either we’re batshit insane or we’re sleeping.
I held up my doubts, fears, and endless questions. The moon poured into each crevasse. Gulping, gulping, gulping… I knew in that moment I’d quit my job, leave Los Angeles, and return to the road. I renewed my vows, pledging to always follow my heart through the twists and turns of its valves and veins, not knowing how, but nevertheless to keep on beating on.
I can’t tell you what those answers are, but I still feel them coming into being, pulsating, softly banging where the echos of the past meet the edges of the future...
Thank you, John. Thank you, Big Sur. Thank you, California. Thank you, Moon.